Friday, March 25, 2011

Stood Up.

Wow.

That's all I could say, all I could think.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm hurt.
I don't want to believe it happened, but it did.
I'm trying to make excuses....... Maybe you fogot and were too far away to turn back. Maybe you had to go home after you got an emergency call. Maybe you forgot? I sometimes forget things too just after a few minutes of being reminded.
I want to believe otherwise, but I can't avoid what was. You kind of just left me there, it seems. You left me waiting, with hope.
*sigh*
So this is how it feels like.....
*sigh*
--------Whatever---------
I tried, that's all I'm going to say. I took away my pride. I tried to fix things before HS. Even though I was hurt too, I approached with no expectations of receiving an apology back. I was willing to blame everything on myself just so the problem could be resolved. You don't know how much I've been thinking of talking to you, how much it hurts me to walk by you - to be in the same room with you - as if we don't even know each other. --Why does it seem like you're okay with everything? Maybe you are? Am I just over-reacting again?-- God knows my intentions. He knows I tried to fix things. He knows from the bottom of my heart that I did. I shouldn't worry anymore because I tried. --I felt so happy when you said we could talk. I believed you. You sounded so convincing. What happened? Why did you leave? If you weren't ready, why didn't you just say "no?" I would have appreciated that more...--   I'm saddened by what we've become. In healthy relationships, communication is valuable. Things aren't working out because we're not communicating. I'm trying so hard, but you're not willing to listen. It takes two to tango, dear. Even if I try a million times, if you don't listen, nothing'll happen.
I'll pray for you. I'm not a mean person.
Take care of yourself, sister dear.
I guess I'll be waiting for you to approach me. I'm tired of being the only trying....


-Dianne

Saturday, March 5, 2011

New blood.

Dear you,

I don't appreciate you being here anymore, so please, could you just leave already? Yes, it sucks that I'm not going to see you anymore, but I get so annoyed and hurt when I see you now. I have to close my eyes and take deep breaths to take the frustration away. I want to scream and look at you with narrowed eyes, to get back at you for playing me, but I can't let the devil overcome me - especially now that HS is approaching. I'm going to overcome. I'm going to overcome. I'm going to overcome. And besides, even if I wanted you to hurt just as much as I did, I'd never be able to do something so cruel to you. I wouldn't because I'm not that kind of person. Instead, I'm going to hold my head up high and be the better one. I'm going to walk forward and not look back. I deserve better. I deserve someone who would treat me like, yes, a princess. I believed in you though. I thought you a better person, but you crushed that perception and threw it out the window. It's unfortunate. I'm really going to miss those airplane-shaped letters you used to write me...
Hey, I'm sorry for being so mean. Maybe my visions just clouded right now. I'll get better, don't worry, but our friendship is never going to be again. It might possibly even be as though it never existed.

Goodbye, darling. I hope your taste in ties gets better. (Mean again, but it makes me feel better.)