Tis the season....for Cranberry Bliss Bars

I promised I'd try to write about something different -- something unlike the last several posts. hehe. So here is my attempt to introduce to you some of the other things that go through my mind.

I love coffee. It's comforting on a chilly day. It keeps me awake when I need to be paying attention in class (haha). It's soothing, relaxing. 
Buying coffee can get expensive though. As a college student, I don't have the funds to go to Starbucks every since morning. That's about $25 a week! $25 can go towards my share of utilities for a month! I tried to limit how much I spent on coffee, so I decided to buy coffee only when I felt like I needed it most. That didn't work for me though. I missed it too much, I got tired. I then came up with the brilliant idea to brew my own coffee at home! I had a coffee maker anyway and it wasn't being put to good use. So ta-tun! Win-win situation for me-----I can have coffee whenever I want without spending so much money. My coffee in the picture was brewed with beans purchases from Starbucks. (I payed about $15 for a bag of beans. I can make so much coffee with that!)They grind the beans for you if you ask, so you don't need to worry about getting a grinder if you don't have one. I don't take my coffee black, so to that, I added peppermint mocha flavored creamer. -It was a really good cup of coffee..perfect for the holidays and the cold weather Mhmmm...-  

With that cup of coffee, I had what's called by Starbucks a "cranberry bliss bar." Take note, they only have these during the holidays. There things are soooo good. They have tons of sugar I'm sure, but I make myself feel better by using the "once in a while" excuse. You should try them. They're soft and chewy and sweet with a bit of tartness from the cranberries. It's definitely one of my favorite holiday treats! I was really feeling deep in the valley that day, but this little treat and the cup of coffee picked me right up! :} 

I hope life is treating you well! 
Until my next post - which probably won't be for a while because finals week is coming up. Take care until then!

With love,
derika <3

Strung up on you...

First off..... To all you readers out there (I know you're out there!), my life doesn't revolve around having crushes, dreaming of love, fantasizing about romantic dates, etc. It just seems like it. Haha. All my posts so far have had something to do with emotions of the heart, have they? I'll try to change that.... so that you'll get a further glimpse into the thoughts of this amazing girl. ;) (You need to make yourself feel good sometimes, right? Hehe. Maybe that's something I need to do less..lol.) But for now, I'm sorry to say, I must vent and write once again about this heart of mine, which is at this moment, burdened because of person mentioned in previous blog. Let's give this person a code name, shall we?! Hmmm...... Let's do TAI. If you're wondering how on earth I decided to go with 'Tai,' the reason's simple. I like his taste in ties. :{) (If you've read one of my first posts, you know by now that I have a thing with ties... haha.) Anyway........ Maybe I'll eventually get over Tai, and one day stumble on my blogs about him and laugh at how silly and infatuated I was. Maybe not. Maybe he'll be my prince charming, *gasp* my first and last, and I'll stumble upon my blogs about him and say "I knew it was him from the start." Oh goodness... I'm in too deep, huh? The latter is very unlikely, so Derika, if you're reading this right now, you're probably laughing, aren't you? Laugh away. Laugh away. I know I sound ridiculous right now.

Secondly, I need to post this blog quick. I have lots of other things I should be doing ----- like reading Oscar Wao (title shortened) for my English class, like preparing for my English presentation on Thursday, like working on my 5-7 page essay for English, like doing chemistry homework due on Friday, like reading my chem book to prepare for my chem final, like reading The Iliad for my Greek and Roman Mythology class, like like like like like like like like..... So much other stuff to do!! But, in my defense, I can't concentrate on all that other stuff I have to do because of this heart of mine, because of Tai.. So, like I said, I'll try to be quick with this blog. I'll vent it all out and be done.

Thirdly, WHY DO I THINK ABOUT TAI SO MUCH!!!??? He's been in my dreams a lot lately too! I mean, my thoughts are great; my dreams are great. But. They are all figments of my imagination. My fantasies. Far from reality. Far from what I want it to be. (I know I just wrote tons of fragments, but I'm trying to convey my emotions through sentence structure. Hahaha. Weirdo. Nerd. Anyway....) My heart/head is filled with guilt too. I cannot and shouldn't be thinking this way about Tai, especially since he looks really committed to his girl. I feel so wrong for feeling the way that I do, but I can't help it. Tai is just so attractive - attractive not only physically, okay? I'm not, or at least try not to be, superficial. I'm ridiculous, I know. I hardly know the guy outside of church... What I see and know about him from church is enough though. It's enough to set this heart of mine thumping. It's enough to tie my tongue into knots when I see him. I gave you a hint, didn't I? Yes, he's in the church. ;) What locale you may be wondering? My response: "the world may never know." Haha. Sorry, this information cannot be disclosed. But, I will give you another clue! I'm pretty sure he pays attention to his socks. They never take away from his outfit. They're like little cute surprises when he takes his shoes off. ~~~Ohmygosh.... -___- I sound like such a STALKER!!  Before you judge me, let me just say that that I like men's fashion. I have a Pinterest board titled "Boyss and Clothesss." Hahaha. So I'm very observant when it comes to the clothes guys wear....down to the socks. haha. Do I sound less stalker-y now? I hope so. What can you deduce from this? Yes, you're correct. He dresses well. More hints? He prays well (this increases his attractiveness a tenfold!) and sings well (this is another hint in itself!). He also has a nice smile. :) Have you figured it out? Nope? I thought so. Good luck! May the odds of you figuring out who it is be ever in your favor! Haha, yes, I referenced The Hunger Games...
My kuyas have been telling me that I shouldn't feel guilty about my feelings. "It's not like he's married" ---that's their reason. But still. I try telling myself that, but it doesn't work. The guilt still creeps up on me. I'm not wishing ill on his relationship or anything, but WHY CAN'T HE BE SINGLE!!??? :(( Or, why can't there be another Tai, a single Tai? *sigh*

Derika is 19.
Derika is thirsty for love...
Derika has never had anyone "special."
Derika desires to be loved.
Derika isn't ready to be in a relationship though.
Derika is complicated, huh?
Derika is weird.

I am interested in Tai. I want to know more about Tai. I feel guilty for feeling this way about Tai. What do I do??!! How do I get over this dilemma of mine?? Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Prayer. I'm sure prayer will do the trick.
*sigh* Just a guilty and selfish confession.... Prepare yourself, kay?
.......I wish Tai felt the same about me...

Kayyyy, I think I vented enough of it out. lol. This was supposed to be quick, but it's been almost an hour. If only I had as much enthusiasm to do my English homework, or homework in general! Haha. If only...

Okay, world, you'll hear from me soon! Hopefully next time it won't be about my adolescent yearnings again!  Haha. Let's cross our fingers!


Love <3,
Derika